Search This Blog

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

The Bing Bang Joke

BRO.PITT: Why did the chicken cross the road?
BRO.PITT: To get away from an atheist.

The 1st debate I was able to watch was one from highschool. It was a debate between Lourdes School of Quezon City (LSQC) and Claret. I'm from LSQC so naturally, I had to root for my schoolmates. The debate was held in a large spacious room in LSQC (not in the auditorium). We had the homecourt avantage.

I came in late and one from our team was already delivering a speech at the time. I forgot what the topic was about but he was quoting a lot of data, numbers, statistics to strengthen his argument. After that, it was Claret's turn. Their young speaker in his white polo uniform, had dark skin, wavy hair and he wore eyeglasses. After moving to the center of what was considered a stage (there was no podium), he looked at us (the audience) in a very nonchalant way, then said, "These statistics (there was a slight pause), they mean nothing,"

Hahaha! I was impressed. I thought he was too smart for his age to deliver something like that. Of course, statistics are important. They give us a basis, ideas on how to form a conclusion. But on that particular day, stats were not able to help our team. Claret won. And rightly so. I thought I was the only from our school who favored Claret but I was glad the judges felt the same way. And in the same way that statistics can be useless, I'd like to say, that: The Big Bang Theory, (the theory that atheists believe to be the explanation for the existence of the universe) means nothing as well.

BRO.PITT: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
BRO.RICO: How many?
BRO.PITT: At least 2, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the need for the change exists.

 *  *  *

2 Atheists were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night the older atheist woke the younger atheist up and said: "Look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." The younger atheist replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." The older atheist said: "Please analyze". The younger replied: "OK, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life. And if there is life out there, that would mean that the Bible is wrong for saying that life exists only on Earth. And if the Bible is wrong, therefore, there is no God". And the older atheist said: "You idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent!"

 *  *  *

Where was I? Ah, yes, the Big Bang Theory is nothing. It is nothing but a targeted guess. And Science itself will prove that this theory is just speculation. It is merely conjecture.

First and Foremost, it's a misnomer. The name is wrong. There is no "Big Bang" in the Big Bang Theory. There was no explosion. From the official website of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) Of America:
Was the Big Bang an explosion? No, the Big Bang was not an explosion. We don't know what, exactly, happened in the earliest times, but it was not an explosion in the usual way that people picture explosions. There was not a bunch of debris that sprang out, whizzing out into the surrounding space. In fact, there was no surrounding space. There was no debris strewn outwards. Space itself has been stretching and carrying material with it. 
So even the name is a joke. It's should not have been called the Big Bang Theory but The Big Expansion Theory. It's not like a balloon that exploded but a balloon that just kept getting bigger and bigger.

 *  *  *

The great and popular NASA was nice enough to admit that they don't know what happened in the earliest times. This will be my point, the focus of my article: why do atheists bank on so much on this theory, why do they emotionally invest on it when in fact, the theory will not hold water? It is an insult to the intelligence. It's a joke to a rational mind.
The big bang theory leaves several major questions unanswered. One is the original cause of the big bang itself. Several answers have been proposed to address this fundamental question, but none has been proven—and even adequately testing them has proven to be a formidable challenge. 
I am happy that the scientists from the National Geographic were also honest in pointing out the flaws of the joke, er, I mean the theory. How can this theory become so popular when it has left, not few, not minor, but SEVERAL QUESTIONS unanswered? Well, I have a theory about that too.

The reason why the Big Bang Theory is famous is also the same reason why The Evolution Theory is famous: that despite the above questions, atheists still believe these theories to be true. Atheists have a knack for promoting prejudice. And because of this biased belief, the joke is on them.

 *  *  *


Once upon a time, somewhere in Europe, 3 atheists went into a bar. After a few drinks, they started to brag about their grandfathers...

ATHEIST1: My grandfather is smarter than your grandfathers. He created The Evolution Theory!
ATHEIST2: Hahaha! That's nothing. That theory only explains the origin of life. My grandfather is smarter than yours. My grandfather postulated the Big Bang Theory!
ATHEIST3: Your grandfathers are idiots.
ATHEIST1: What are you talking about? Can there be something greater than the Evolution Theory and the Big Bang?
ATHEIST3: My grandfather conceptualized something where those 2 theories came from. My grandfather started... atheism.

Buh-dee, buh-dee, that's all folks!

To the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory for ever.

I'd like to promote ASOP again, watch it every Sundays, 7pm, on Ch.37. It's a talent show that is SERIOUS in praising the Lord through new beautiful and rational songs!

No comments:

Post a Comment